Article by Phoenix writer Paulina Barnjak ’24:
“Ja te volim.” With those three words, I am assured that I am loved, in this world and the next.
I think it’s universal that society does not know how to handle the loss of a loved one. Even as Catholics, as we believe in Heaven, we find it difficult to comprehend loss. We start to think, are they really in a better place? Or are people just telling me they are?
I lost my grandmother on November 9th, 2023. Although she had been sick for a while, it was still a shock when I had become aware of her passing. As someone who has never lost a grandparent, or any close family member for that matter, it was tough to acknowledge the loss before me. I felt hopeless in the world of despair. How should I comfort my father, who lost his mother who raised him? How should I comfort my grandfather, who lost his love? I had to prepare myself for the next few days, but I didn’t know how. That was, until I went to Mass on Sunday.
Sunday was the day of the wake, but my family and I decided to attend St. William’s 10:30 Mass so that I can Eucharistic Minister. But listening to the Gospel and Kellenberg Alumni Fr. John Crozier’s homily, I found my motive to get me through the day.
From the Gospel according to Matthew, Jesus describes the Parable of the Ten Virgins. Five were said to be wise, and the other five were foolish. The wise brought oil for their lamps so they wouldn’t go out, and the foolish ones didn’t. Therefore, the foolish ones were not prepared to see the bridegroom, and did not make it in time for the wedding feast. The gospel ends with the connection to preparing ourselves for Christ, saying, “Therefore, stay awake, for you know neither the day nor the hour.”
This reading reminded me that being prepared, and facing the unknown with integrity, confidence, and diligence is significant in succeeding. If we don’t face our fears, we will face our burdens with a bad attitude because we are unprepared for what’s to come.
With this reading in mind, I put myself in a mindset where I am prepared to face the grief. But what really reassured me was the priest’s homily during the funeral. Fr. Nikola, the priest from St. Raphael, a Croatian parish in New York City, told us of an old non-Christian funeral tradition, which involves melting a candy in the mouth and letting it dissolve, signifying a final death, a belief that humans dissolve into “nothing.”
But Fr. Nikola signified that as Catholics, we believe in a place beyond our lives, which is Heaven. The priest concluded that since my grandmother had believed in the salvation Jesus provided for us, she has a place in Heaven.
My grandmother, Meri Barnjak, and my grandfather at the baptism of me and my triplet sisters.
Deciding to go to Mass on Sunday was very significant to me as I went through this process. Not only did it prepare me to face the grief, it helped me overcome it. My grandmother had always told me and my triplet sisters before we left her house, “Ja te Volim”- meaning, I love you. She reassured her grandchildren that she loved them unconditionally. This is what Jesus says to us; that he loves us with all his heart and will prepare us for any obstacles that come our way.
