Article by Phoenix writer Grace Andino ’25:
Towards the end of my sophomore year, feelings of unproductivity and concern lingered in my mind. Distracted by the upcoming junior year, I questioned if I followed God’s plan for my life efficiently. Throughout my five years at Kellenberg, I’ve had the unique opportunity to express my faith through masses, prayer services, and extracurriculars. No matter the sport, club, or activity, Mary and Christ have always been recognized. A combination of faith and academics has deepened my beliefs around like-minded individuals. After interactions with those same individuals, I felt as if God’s voice to me was muffled.
At lunch with my friends, I came to a firm revelation. I decided I was the only person who didn’t know how they wanted to spend their future. Very dramatic of me, I know. They revealed their dream schools, careers, and meticulous plans for the future. As I came home, my parents added to my confusion, pressuring me to begin the college search while taking standardized tests, driver’s education, and sports. Upset, I spiraled into thought.
My analysis led me to believe a lie. I became frustrated with God, wondering how I trailed so far behind my classmates. ‘How can they decide so easily when it takes me hours to make a concrete decision?’ ‘I’m involved in various activities, how have none of them stuck out to me?’ Most importantly, I wondered why God let me fall behind and questioned His plans for my life.
Following my thoughts, my dad and I found ourselves in the back pews of St Thomas the Apostle’s Church. The church where I received my Confirmation and Baptism looked bigger than before, reminding me of my elementary school days. The beautiful statue of Padre Pío outside the front steps brought me back to my Confirmation, especially the bond my father and I shared over it. Many years ago, he told me that he used to pray to Padre Pío as a little boy and took the name Francesco at his Confirmation. Every Sunday before Mass, he takes a picture in front of this statue as a personal keepsake. This church has changed my perspective on the significance of a name, beginning all the way back to my father’s.
Though Mass serves as an escape from my hectic schedule, that week was the opposite. I contemplated my prior thoughts of God’s road for me and asked Him to make his motives known. Instead of standing for parts of the Introductory Rites, I prayed silently, grasping my rosary. Sitting during these parts always makes me nervous, but I felt the urge to sit in meditation.
The Mass began with readings from Isaiah and Acts, stressing how God calls His people to a vocation from birth. Our gospel focused on Luke 1:5-17, the birth of John. Elizabeth experienced doubt about God’s plan and believed she would never have a child. With faith in God, She and Zechariah were soon visited by an angel, proclaiming they would bear a son named John. In the sermon, our celebrant explained that the name given to us at birth wasn’t accidental. He stressed that a life of devotion to God would result in unexpected blessings. John’s name being gifted directly from God was not uncommon and is valid for everyone. The priest ended by encouraging us to search the Hebrew meaning of our names and meditate on what God could be trying to tell us.
After Mass, I took the time to search for my Hebrew name. Grace comes from the Hebrew word חן (hanan), meaning, ‘anything that induces a favorable response to something we find ourselves drawn to.’ In other words, it values charity and hospitality towards God to receive his blessings. That was it! My purpose is to honor Him by kindness and charity. Revealing and praying would allow His plan for me to unfold over time. Just as Elizabeth trusted God, I put my absolute faith in Him, believing he set me down the right path.
As I have ventured into my junior year, I have kept this homily in my heart. Though I might have doubts about my purpose, my name reminds me of the devotion I should show to God in everything I do.